Laaaads on Tour

So off we got from the Delhi plane, only to be greated by Singapore's unbelievable/unbearable cleanliness. Forbidden- litter, chewing gum, smoking, waiting, standing, living, breathing. Now, we arent messy people (ahem) but who knew rubbish could be so refreshing?! We want India! Thankfully, we walked straight through the airport to our adjoining hotel. Checked in and went straight to our room where we made an almighty mess.... and ate as much chewing gum as possible and then stuck it to every wall... well, we didnt really... but we wanted to! There isn't much to say about the hotel, other than that we were charged FIFTEEN STERLING POUNDS to use the internet for a measely 30 minutes. Can you believe it? Apparently India isn't the only country crawling with scammers.
After staying up all night to watch Ireland BEAT England, with rather tired eyes we made our way to the classy 'Budget' terminal at Changi airport the next morning to catch our flight to Bangkok. We landed safetly in Bangkok to meet HUGE immigration ques and our taxi driver with the 'goodluck' hairy mole. Now, We're going to let you guess what happens next... surprise surprise, we were ripped off!
In our first hostel we met a guy called kirren/kierrem/kirram (never quite figured out which it was) who introduced us to a load of people. We had our first night out in Bangkok. Which was an experience. We will leave it at that.
We spent a few days in Bangkok (a few days too many!). Did the temples, the reclining buddah, (despite the attempts of many a helpful tuk-tuk driver (SCAMMERS!), who forcefully tried to convince us that every attraction was closed (at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Are they reallllly?!), coincidently each had an alternative attraction for us to visit... 'oooo big dancing budha only 45 meeetah') the river, the endless shopping malls... and just about everything else there i to see. It was alright, but not sure we'll be heading back there anytime soon.
We met up with our tour on the 5th March. It consisted of Amy (tour leader, notorious drunk), Barbara (aka Babs), Evelina and Stu (the Ameeericans), Bryan and Cheryl (the tuk-tuk scotts), Rolland (the sexy swede) and us (the heart and soul). We all went for a 'chilled' dinner, went to a Reggae bar and then hit the hay.
Early start the next morning and made the long arduous bus trip to the 'Death Railway Museum'. We'll let you do your own research, but it was an incredibly harrowing day and we suggest that if ever you are in Thailand to visit it. Alice spent the whole day in tears. After the museum, we had another long bus trip to catch the over night train to Krabi.
We love the over night trains. It was really very similar to the Indian overnight trains... except for the added bonus of the DISCO CABIN!! (A cabin dedicated to playing really, really, really loud music, to serving expensive beer, and to flashing disco lights. It was and unforgetable experience.) Ah, and minus the lack of air-con. It was stifiling. Sweat from top to toe. Which was nice. Eventually we caught a few winks and awoke in Krabi. After the 10hr train journey (followed by a 2 hr drive) the sea has never looked so appealing! We donned our cozzies and ran in expecting to feel instantly refreshed and revitalised... only to find that the sea was exactly the same temperature as the air. Hopeless! So we just crashed on the beach and had a 'wee' wonder around that afternoon.
That night, as was the common occurance, we all met up at 7 for a group meal... and a couple of drinks, and so began the dreaded night of the infamous tuk tuk (those bloody Scotts). After a few games of pool, we had a rather long walk to the club form our bar. Unfortunately the tuk tuks were too expensive. Bryan helpfully turned to Alice, "Tuk tuk?'' (pointing to his back), Alice in a drunken stooper (foolishly) agreed and hopped right on. India and Cheryl covered their eyes ('oh god'). Bryan began the running motion. He lent forward. His body started moving to fast for his legs. He became unbalanced. He fell... along with Alice, who halfway down lept off in a bid for freedom. Result= Two drunken heaps, wincing on the floor. Amy, Cheryl, India and the turned down (real) tuk tuk driver were in hysterics. This moment will never be lived down. Moral of the story, only take tuk tuks with wheels (preferably ones with lights and pumping music- rather aesthetically pleasing.).
Spent a few days in Krabi. Visited 'Phranang Island' (aka 'Fertility Island' due to the cave filled with large wooden phallaces), and another island (the name of which we cannot remember). We spent a day kyaking and elephant trekking (much to the horror of babs who had just stayed in an elephant sanctuary. Our argument went something like this... 'when in Rome!'). Kayaking proved to be quite an experience. Kayak ... a surprisingly tricky thing to manouver through mangroves. Especially when your tour guide finds 'the disappearing act' amusing. One minute he was there, the next he wasnt. We were apparently expected to find our own way out of an endless maze of tangled mangroves... with the odd monkey jumping on and hi-jacking out kayak. But luckily, due to our fantastic orienteering skills/ well trained lungs ("where the hellllllllll are you?") we made it out alive. We even had enough of the fighting spirit left to race back to the finish line... a race that we sorely lost. We maintain the belief that this was purely because alll of the other teams had men!
After the kyaking experience, it was time for the elephants and the clouds were looming with a vengence! The moment at which we had finally succeeded in hauling ourselves onto the massive elephants, the heavens opened. We trecked through the jungle with our 8 year old (crazy) elephant driver and an umbrella. All in all a rather adventurous day.
After 4 days in Krabi, we hit the road and made our way into Malaysia and down to Penang (across the 3rd longest bridge in the world, dont you know). On arrival, thanks to Amy's advice, we made our way to Penang Hill, we went up on the phenicular train and we were met by the most fantastic views- you could see the whole of the island, and beyond.. but views aside, once again under Amy's advice, we decided to stroll down the hill to see the monkeys. Stroll we did. And we strolled, and we strolled... and we strolled. Half and hour... yeah right!! After 45 minutes (and no monkeys) we had only made it about a quater of the way down the meandering tarmacked slope, (our legs have never been so sore!) and so when a pick-up lorry builder thing (little bit rickety) passed we ran after it arms aflailling (a sudden burst of energy), we waved it down, and hopped on top.
Penang gave us a few rather raucus nights out/in. Our hotel had a rooftop room which we dominated with our ipod speakers, our cheap thai vodka, and our awful drinking games. At one point Archie, the hotel man, came up to check we were all ok (not running amock) and we managed to blag the 'hotel mingood' 10 times too big t-shirt. Score! The tables have turned- the scammees have become the scammers!
We're afraid that this is all for now, we are knackered and singapore calls us.
Will finish the tour tomorrow, love to you all xxxx